"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

After a temporary hiatus, I return to the blogging world feeling relieved and rejuvenated. The past two weeks have been a whirlwind, but I have come out feeling like for the first time in a long time, everything in my life is in its place.

Nearly two weeks ago, I went through a frivorce (my word for a friend divorce) with my best friend of almost seven years. In all honesty, I think the betrayal began a few years ago when the loyalty ended. There was betrayal on both sides, as well as from parties outside the situation. The respect was gone, and I had not felt happy in the friendship in quite some time. I guess you could say I was cowardly, because since I considered her to be family, I never quite had the courage to walk out of her life. I have never been good at walking away from people who I protected, or people who needed me. In the end, though, another party was the catalyst for the fall, and in essence, it became the straw that broke the camel's back.

I stuck it out for a few days, but ultimately, I knew it all needed to end. Over the past year or so, I have rid my life of toxicity in all forms, and this was truly the last toxic thing, and situation, in my life. I knew it was time to let it all go.

With the help of some very loyal, amazing friends, I was able to move out of my apartment and in with a dear friend in less than 12 hours.

It is never easy to lose a friend, and there is nothing quite like divorcing your best. As difficult as those few days were, I felt the world lift off my shoulders upon the split. I will always have some great memories of our friendship, but in the end, the bad seemed to outweigh the good.

I know we both ended up hurt, but if there is one thing I have learned over the years, it is that I will not live my life feeling bitter and angry. I once heard that holding a grudge against someone is unnecessary, because while you're carrying the grudge, that person is out dancing.  One Buddhist quote says, "holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Being bitter or angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Sometimes, you just have to admit the truth and move on. The truth is, no one won this fight. I am not proud of everything I said or did, but I have no regrets. I am only human, and I am not perfect. I make mistakes, but in the end, the most I can do is wake up each day and try to do it better. I certainly never intended for things to end the way they did, but I have already felt the air around me change.

I am in a much happier place, I am staying true to myself, and I am one step closer to reaching my goals. I am so grateful for my friends and family, who have done nothing but support me during one of my life's greatest transitions.

It's never easy losing someone you love, but when it's all said and done, all you can do is wish that person the best and try to learn from the situation. Sometimes, there are no great quotes to sum it all up. Sometimes, you just have to forgive yourself, admit you did the best you could, and move on.

Cheers to a new day and a new beginning.

-Kali