I am a single lady. Many people do not understand the concept that being alone sometimes means choosing to be alone. I am not a relationship person. When I am in a relationship, I tend to get so wrapped up in the other person that I stop forgetting who I am and what I want. Right now, at this time in my life, what I want is not to be in a relationship. What I want is to work hard this year and move to London next year. I know so many people who think they have to find the love of their life in college, otherwise it will never happen. I feel sorry for these people. What happened to people believing in something called destiny? Believing in a soulmate halfway around the world that you accidentally bump into in line for a midnight movie in Rome?
Oftentimes, being with someone at such a young age means one person ends up sacrificing their wants and needs for the other. I am a girl with dreams bigger than even I can imagine. I also believe many women my age have big dreams too. The difference is, I truly believe I can make mine happen. I believe enough in myself and my future to know that my dreams can, and will, come true. Since I know this, I don't have to settle for a relationship just to say I'm in a relationship... Just to have someone to exchange gifts with on birthdays and holidays. I love giving gifts to myself, which is equally rewarding.
I know how I get when I am in a relationship, and unless I meet the right person, I am not willing to give up on my dreams just to have the label of a boyfriend. I would rather be single than in a relationship with a controlling person who does not let me make my own decisions. I would rather be single than in a relationship with someone who wants me to give up on my dreams. I would rather be single than in a relationship like Gary and Amber's or Ronnie and Sammie's... I hope you all know your MTV references. If you live under a rock then all you have to do is Google the names and immediately you'll understand what I mean.
I was once told by one of my dearest friends that everyone knows I am not a hopeless romantic, but it's funny how even the people you're closest to don't even understand you sometimes. The truth is, I am probably more romantic than most people. Some people think romance is in the simple things, but I prefer extraordinary. I don't judge anyone for choosing simple, so I shouldn't be judged for wanting something unimaginable to most people. I would rather believe that I might meet the love of my life outside Buckingham Palace, drinking coffee in Central Park, or at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I believe in love at first sight and as much as I try to fight it, I believe happily ever after is possible. As much as I love labeling things, I don't want to be with someone just to make it FBO (Facebook official). I want to continue to flirt and date and come home and curl up on the couch at the end of the night or whenever I feel like it. I want to follow my dreams before I settle down, and I refuse to feel guilty for that just because society says I should. We put so much pressure on each other, and ourselves.
What we need to do, is stop expecting so much from people. For the most part, I have always been an optimist. Even in the darkest moments, I believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. When we fall to the bottom, we can only rise up. Throughout my life, I have made my share of mistakes. I haven't always said the right thing or done the right thing, but I'm human. My family and friends are my world, and being a good daughter, sister, and friend is at the top of priority list.
I truly believe I have been a great friend to many people throughout my lifetime. I might be the type who is stubborn and likes to take charge, but I am a loyal friend. I would do anything for my friends, but recently realized some might not do the same. Sometimes being too good to people means getting walked all over or taken advantage of. This is one aspect of my life I have struggled with for years. I do so much, just to get little in return.
I have given up on a few friends recently, and I'm sure letting go of a few more is in the works. I am so adamant about not putting up with a boyfriend who treats me badly, so why should my friendships be any different? I would rather have a handful of best friends and know in my soul that we would do anything for each other, than be in a crowd full of people not knowing of one I could count on. I think it's time we start expecting less of others, and more of ourselves. It is important to believe in the good of others, but getting rid of the expectations leaves room for opportunities for people to surprise us when we least expect it. De-cluttering one's life not only means getting rid of some material possessions, but it also means getting rid of the toxic people who bring you down. In 2011, I only want to surround myself with positive people who believe in me, and most importantly, themselves. Good relationships of any kind are not built on jealousy, competition, or envy. Good relationships are built from unconditional compassion, support, and love.
The truth is, I love love. I love people who are in love. I love people whose significant other makes them a better friend and a better person. I do not like when someone changes for someone else, or when people give up their whole lives for another person. Granted, relationships include sacrifice, but that means sacrifice from both sides, not just one.
Ultimately, what makes me happy is seeing others happy. If you are in love, I hope that love brings out the best in you and makes you a better person, not someone you are ashamed of. I truly hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day and I hope you all took the time to appreciate all the different kinds of love in your life. Life is about timing... As long as you believe it so, the good things will come. Remember, being alone on this day does not mean you have failed. In fact, it takes courage to be comfortable and confident enough to be alone with yourself. It takes courage to wait years to find the person you are meant to be with. Some people, like me, put our future in a higher power and continue to believe that the good things in life cannot be planned... The good things happen when least expected.
Cheers to a new day... a new dream... and a new beginning.
-Kali
Oftentimes, being with someone at such a young age means one person ends up sacrificing their wants and needs for the other. I am a girl with dreams bigger than even I can imagine. I also believe many women my age have big dreams too. The difference is, I truly believe I can make mine happen. I believe enough in myself and my future to know that my dreams can, and will, come true. Since I know this, I don't have to settle for a relationship just to say I'm in a relationship... Just to have someone to exchange gifts with on birthdays and holidays. I love giving gifts to myself, which is equally rewarding.
I know how I get when I am in a relationship, and unless I meet the right person, I am not willing to give up on my dreams just to have the label of a boyfriend. I would rather be single than in a relationship with a controlling person who does not let me make my own decisions. I would rather be single than in a relationship with someone who wants me to give up on my dreams. I would rather be single than in a relationship like Gary and Amber's or Ronnie and Sammie's... I hope you all know your MTV references. If you live under a rock then all you have to do is Google the names and immediately you'll understand what I mean.
I was once told by one of my dearest friends that everyone knows I am not a hopeless romantic, but it's funny how even the people you're closest to don't even understand you sometimes. The truth is, I am probably more romantic than most people. Some people think romance is in the simple things, but I prefer extraordinary. I don't judge anyone for choosing simple, so I shouldn't be judged for wanting something unimaginable to most people. I would rather believe that I might meet the love of my life outside Buckingham Palace, drinking coffee in Central Park, or at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I believe in love at first sight and as much as I try to fight it, I believe happily ever after is possible. As much as I love labeling things, I don't want to be with someone just to make it FBO (Facebook official). I want to continue to flirt and date and come home and curl up on the couch at the end of the night or whenever I feel like it. I want to follow my dreams before I settle down, and I refuse to feel guilty for that just because society says I should. We put so much pressure on each other, and ourselves.
What we need to do, is stop expecting so much from people. For the most part, I have always been an optimist. Even in the darkest moments, I believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. When we fall to the bottom, we can only rise up. Throughout my life, I have made my share of mistakes. I haven't always said the right thing or done the right thing, but I'm human. My family and friends are my world, and being a good daughter, sister, and friend is at the top of priority list.
I truly believe I have been a great friend to many people throughout my lifetime. I might be the type who is stubborn and likes to take charge, but I am a loyal friend. I would do anything for my friends, but recently realized some might not do the same. Sometimes being too good to people means getting walked all over or taken advantage of. This is one aspect of my life I have struggled with for years. I do so much, just to get little in return.
I have given up on a few friends recently, and I'm sure letting go of a few more is in the works. I am so adamant about not putting up with a boyfriend who treats me badly, so why should my friendships be any different? I would rather have a handful of best friends and know in my soul that we would do anything for each other, than be in a crowd full of people not knowing of one I could count on. I think it's time we start expecting less of others, and more of ourselves. It is important to believe in the good of others, but getting rid of the expectations leaves room for opportunities for people to surprise us when we least expect it. De-cluttering one's life not only means getting rid of some material possessions, but it also means getting rid of the toxic people who bring you down. In 2011, I only want to surround myself with positive people who believe in me, and most importantly, themselves. Good relationships of any kind are not built on jealousy, competition, or envy. Good relationships are built from unconditional compassion, support, and love.
The truth is, I love love. I love people who are in love. I love people whose significant other makes them a better friend and a better person. I do not like when someone changes for someone else, or when people give up their whole lives for another person. Granted, relationships include sacrifice, but that means sacrifice from both sides, not just one.
Ultimately, what makes me happy is seeing others happy. If you are in love, I hope that love brings out the best in you and makes you a better person, not someone you are ashamed of. I truly hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day and I hope you all took the time to appreciate all the different kinds of love in your life. Life is about timing... As long as you believe it so, the good things will come. Remember, being alone on this day does not mean you have failed. In fact, it takes courage to be comfortable and confident enough to be alone with yourself. It takes courage to wait years to find the person you are meant to be with. Some people, like me, put our future in a higher power and continue to believe that the good things in life cannot be planned... The good things happen when least expected.
Cheers to a new day... a new dream... and a new beginning.
-Kali
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